Roller-coaster ride around the world, stuck in black and white.

I fucking swear, i never felt this way for anyone before. I don't even understand why i feel this way for someone like you. It's been half a year and three days, yet this longing, missing and love is still hanging around . You broke my heart and left me vulnerable. This wound seems impossible to heal. If crying can heal everything, i will fucking cry one sea. But it can't . Tears are no longer coming down, but the hurt inside is incredible overwhelming. I can't take it. Sometimes, i wish there is someone for me . Oh, how I wish I'd never touched you. Dare I say that I wish I'd never met you? Having experienced the exquisite taste of you, out of my mind and heart I cannot get you. I really want let go everything and start anew , but i can't do it ... Whatever you do , is deeply etched in my heart . But my mind draws a blank like I'm slowly forgetting you . Deep inside this heart of mine I know I haven't .
I know you guys have been reading the about same thing for bloody half year. I know i have been constantly saying to forget . But i can't , so i give up. 走一步算一步. Life is meaningless for me anyway.

Supposed to meet Jason but he like just wake up ? ._. Stupid pig . Perhaps meeting him for dinner, not sure.
Birthday is coming soon, but i'm not looking forward to it at all. Because i know there will be noone celebrating for me. I'm just celebrating for myself and people come only. And i hate this year birthday, i don't know why .
Uh, bye ? :/